Nothing Really Matters
by MakeYourOwnWorld
Summary: Danny's mother Maddie has an incurable disease. Danny doesn't want to accept the fact that his mother is going to die, so he keeps hiding himself in his room. AU. English is not my main language, sorry if there are any mistakes.


**Spoiler alert! There are some spoilers from (one of the best movies I've ever seen) _The Fault In Our Stars_! You've been warned!**

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><p>We were watching <em>The Fault In Our Stars. <em>The movie about Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters. Danny had asked me to come, because he felt lonely. Of course he felt lonely: Jazz and Jack were downstairs with Maddie, spending all of their free time with her. But Danny... Danny was always in his room when he wasn't eating or taking a shower or when he wasn't at my place. He was hiding there, I knew he was. But he never admitted it. I never asked him, though. I just knew.

Maddie was sick. Really sick. A few weeks ago, Danny had told me that she suffered from a brain tumor. We were in his car in front of my house that night. We went out for dinner, and I had noticed something was off. I didn't asked him until we came home, because I didn't want to ruin the night. When I asked him, he sighed and clenched his cheeks. That's when I knew that something was terribly wrong.

"My mom," he started. He was looking out on the street, afraid to face me. He didn't want to cry, he hated crying. "She's sick, Sam. She has a tumor in her brain." That's all he'd told me. That's all I needed to know. I never said anything back to him. I just hugged him and cried with him. What can you say? _It's okay? She'll be fine, you'll see? _Something like that is not okay.

When I arrived at Danny's, I wasn't sure whether to go upstairs or talk to Maddie first. I didn't have to make that decision, because Maddie was sleeping. She was sleeping a lot lately. I greeted Jack and Jazz, who were sitting next to her hospital bed, and went upstairs.

Danny was sitting on his bed when I got there. He was staring at the black screen of the TV, which was standing against the wall. I knew he was thinking about his mom, and that's when I suggested to watch _The Fault In Our Stars_. I wasn't sure if it was a good choice or not, but I thought that he needed to watch that movie.

So here we were, watching a movie about two teenagers - Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters - who were suffering/had suffered from cancer. One of Danny's hands was around my waist, while the other one was grabbing popcorn - and at the point where Augustus told Hazel his cancer was back, that hand was quietly grabbing a tissue.

_"I lit up like a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace."_

"What the fuck is this shit," Danny pointed at the TV. "Bullshit."

At first I thought he was talking about the movie itself, and it scared me. What if he got mad at me for showing him that movie? But then he continued.

"Why Augustus? I mean, of all people... Why him?" He stopped for a second, and I looked up at him. He was looking at the ceiling, keeping his eyes closed. "Why her?" He asked now. "Of all the people in the world, they choose the good ones. Not that the bad ones deserve cancer, nobody does. But _fuck_, why my mother?!"

The hand that used to be around my waist, was now on his forehead, almost covering his eyes. Almost. I could see how one single tear made it through his closed eyelids. I sat up properly and looked at him, trying to find an answer to his question. But there are no answers to questions like these.

"Danny, I -"

"Please, stop the movie. Just make it stop. I don't want to hear it anymore."

I took the TV-remote and paused the movie. It was quiet in the room now. I didn't know how to fill the silence, so I just took his hand away from his forehead and tangled his fingers with mine. We'd sat there like that for a while before he sat up properly and hugged me until he stopped crying.

After sitting there like that for another half an hour, I decided it was time to go home. I'd asked Danny if he wanted to come downstairs with me, but he refused. And that's when I kinda lost it. "What the fuck, Danny. You're not the one with the fucking cancer! Your mother is down there waiting for you. She's _sick_, Danny, and she's not getting better. Don't do anything you might regret later."

"She's not the only one who's in pain, Sam!"

"She's fucking dying, Danny!"

Danny took a couple of deep breaths and nodded, lips pursed together.

"Danny, no, please, I didn't -"

"No, you're right," he said. "She's dying, and I'm being a fucking asshole because of that. And no," he said before I could say anything. "I'm not blaming her, Samantha."

He never called me Samantha unless he was really mad at me. So I knew he was mad at me, but I was furious with him as well. He closed his bedroom door behind him, and locked it. I banged on the door once, but didn't wait for him to open it, because I knew that he wasn't going to do that, and went downstairs.

"Are you okay?" Jazz asked when I entered the kitchen.

I looked at her and sighed. "Did you hear that?" She nodded. "I'm sorry, Jazz."

"It's okay," she said and smiled a little. "You're lucky my dad didn't hear it."

I nodded and went to the living room, where Maddie was laying in her hospital bed. She was awake now. I probably woke her up. "Hey, Maddie."

She managed to smile at me.

"How are you feeling?"

She smiled again. "Same as always; tired," she whispered. "Just make sure that you and Danny will be okay. Can you promise me that?"

I nodded. I felt guilty and mad and sad because she heard us fighting over her. I could not imagine how Maddie was feeling now. She was fighting a real battle there, and I had fucking relationship problems. "I promise."

**(x.x)**

My phone rang. It was Danny. Before I answered it, I read the clock: 1:49 am. I took a deep breath before I pressed the green button and held the phone close to my ear. "Danny?"

"Sam?"

His voice sounded normal; hoarse from sleep, but still clear. He wasn't crying, so that was a good sign. At least, I hoped it was. "Hey, Danny. Yes, it's me. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Sam. I just... I can't sleep."

I sat up and yawned.

"I woke you up, didn't I?" he asked. I could hear the guilt in his voice.

"You did," I said. "But it's okay."

It was quiet for a moment. I was tired, of course, but I'd promised Danny that I'd be there whenever he needed me. I knew he needed me now, so I was going to be there for him. I tried not to think about the fight we had, and I was kind of hoping I'd forget it soon. I want to ask him if he wanted to come over, but he was faster than me.

"Of course. I'll see you in a bit."

He ended the phone call without saying anything. A couple of minutes later, he was at my balcony. He knocked on the glass. "Come in." He opened the door - something he never does; most of the time he floats right through it. He hadn't been himself lately, so it wasn't something new - and transformed from Phantom to Fenton. He closed the door again and looked at me. He had black circles under his eyes, which were half open. He looked tired. He looked terrible.

"He died," he said all of sudden.

I looked at him, rather confused.

"Augustus Waters died."

I nodded quietly. I didn't reply to that, because I knew I could make it worse. I wanted to ask him if he finished the movie, but obviously he did. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier," I said instead, mentioning to our fight. "I didn't mean all of it, but -"

"Of course you did," he interrupted me. He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at him. I could see the pain in his eyes, and it hurt me. "I know you meant it, and you're right, Sam." He scooted closer. His hand was the only thing I could reach, so I took the opportunity and grabbed it. He looked at our hands and smiled a little. Then he moved his eyes back to mine. "I'm just so mad, so frustrated. My mother is going to die, and where am I? I'm locked up in my room, practically waiting for her to die. She's the one who took care of me for 17 years, and now I should be taking care of her. I love her, Sam, and I don't want to lose her." He tried his best not to cry.

"Danny," I started, and pulled him closer. He was now sitting right in front of me, eyes locked on the bed. I knew he didn't want to look at me, because he never wanted to cry in front of me or anyone else. "Maybe you should tell her that, and not me. She's the one who needs to know all of that."

He just nodded. "Can I stay here?"

I nodded back. "Of course."

**(x.x)**

The next morning, when I woke up, Danny was standing on the balcony. The doors were open so the fresh air could fill my room. I stood up when I heard him sobbing. I made my way to the balcony and when I reached him, I cleared my throat so he knew I was there. He didn't turn around. His hands were leaning on the balustrade. He was putting a lot of weight on it, because his arms were shaking. He was looking down the street, where Fenton Works is located. I hugged him from behind. "Maybe you should go home."

Danny just nodded and turned around, looking down at me.

"I mean it, Danny. Your father and Jazz, they need you more than I do. And you need them more than me. Your mother needs you. Go home, Danny. You can call me whenever you want. Just promise me that you'll talk to your mother. Okay?"

He smiled a little. "Okay."

I smiled back. I knew he was quoting _The Fault In Our Stars_.

**(x.x)**

A couple of days later, at 02:49 precisely, he called me again. I knew why, but I answered my phone anyway. My heart was pounding.

"She's dead," Danny sobbed. I heard Jazz's screaming in the background, yelling that she wanted - needed to go to the hospital. "My mom's dead."

And then he cried. He cried like he'd never cried before. I didn't know how to answer him at first. "I'm on my way," I said eventually. I cried first before I went downstairs. Even though we all knew she was going to die, her death was unexpected and hurting.

It didn't take long before I opened their front door. Jazz was sitting on the chair next to the empty hospital bed where Maddie used to be. She was crying. I ran up to her - yes, I ran - and hugged her. She started to cry harder. "I am so, so sorry," I whispered. That's all I could say at the moment.

We sat there like that for a minute or two, before she got out of the hug.

"Where's Jack?" I asked.

"He's still at the hospital," she said after she'd wiped her tears with the palm of her hand. "She started to throw up blood, so dad rushed her to the hospital. We're still at home because he didn't want us to see her in such a bad shape. He wanted us to remember her as our beautiful mother and -" A sob escaped her throat.

"You know, Jazz, maybe your father is right." It was quiet for a moment. "Where's Danny?" I asked eventually.

"He's upstairs."

"Do you mind if I go?" I asked her. I felt bad leaving her behind.

"Please, go. He doesn't want to talk to me. He needs you."

While I was going upstairs, I was thinking about what I could say. _I'm sorry for your loss_. No. _It's going to be okay_. Definitely not. _I'm here for you_. Nope. Well, of course I was there for him, but it would be a stupid thing to tell him because I was already there.

I opened the door and found Danny on his bed. He stood up when he saw me and practically ran into my arms. "Oh, Sam," he whispered, followed by unending sobs. Maybe I didn't have to say anything at all.

"She's gone!" he yelled and walked away from me to sit on the bed again. I assumed he wasn't feeling strong enough to stand for too long. I followed him, and as soon I sat on the bed, he pulled me into a hug again. He buried his face in my shoulder and cried even harder.

"I abandoned her, Sam. She was sick and I wasn't fucking there for her!"

I didn't have anything to say to that. I couldn't say, "Yeah, you're totally right. You weren't there." So I didn't answer him at all. I asked him a question instead. "I hope you didn't break your promise, though."

He sighed and got out of the hug. "I was waiting for this," he said as he wiped his tears. "I didn't break the promise, Sam. I was with her yesterday. I'd apologized for being an asshole and told her that I understood if she couldn't forgive me, but she did. She told me she knew it wasn't easy for us either. And, Sam... I told her that I'm Phantom. I had to tell her. I couldn't let her go without revealing my secret. She said she knew. She'd known for months, but was waiting for me to tell her." He laughed a little. "It's like she waited for me to visit her before she went."

"I'm proud of you," I whispered.

I'd decided to stay there for the rest of the night. He'd woken up several times, crying and sometimes he was screaming. After he calmed down the last time, he told me that he was scared. "How am I gonna face Jazz and my dad? What if they're mad at me?"

"They're not mad at you, Danny. Why would they? Because you were scared to lose your mother? We were all scared. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't."

"I miss her."

I squeezed his hand. "We all miss her. But you're not going to be alone on this road. I'm gonna be with you every step of the way, no matter how long it'll get. And that's all that matters."

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><p><strong>The title comes from the song <em>Nothing Really Matters<em> by Mr. Probz :) I know it's a male singing about a female, but I thought this song would fit this story anyway :)**


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